Thursday, December 12, 2013

Electronic Family - Driving in Ice

I don't like driving in the ice and snow.  Actually, don't like is such a pale word to describe how terrified I am when faced with driving and snow and/or ice.
This phobia is well known in my family.  And as the only one in my family who fears snow and ice, I am roundly made fun of every time there are one or two flakes lazily floating down to the earth.

So on Monday I was less than thrilled with the weather.  We waited until the sun came up and then scraped off the car.  

Here is a text between Mary and I:

Me: The government is delayed for 2 hours.  We are figuring out if dad is going to drive himself to the metro or not.

Mary:  Alrighty.


Me:  Are you going in late?

Mary: Getting ready now. Lance is de-icing my car.

Much Later....

Me:  Oh did I say that I was taking dad to the metro?  By that I mean that dad is driving to the metro and I am in the passenger seat in a fetal position hiding my face and crying because i have to drive home.

Mary: LOL.

Yep. No respect.

Saturday, November 30, 2013

Electronic Family

Larry ran into Wegman's the other night to pick up some sudafed.  He handed over his driver's license and was unpleasantly surprised to hear that he had exceeded his monthly limit.  Especially since he hadn't bought any sudafed this month...

As we told Audrey about it at lunch, we told her we were going home and calling the store to make sure that they were correct because we didn't want to think that someone else was using Larry's ID.

Me:  Good news!  It was a mistake at Wegman's!!! Dad is NOT a methhead!!!

Audrey:  A mistake at Wegman's?

Me: Re his attempt to purchase Sudafed last night.

Audrey:  Ohhhhhh! I read that as "meathead" not "methhead"

Me:  Important difference.....

I guess Audrey was distracted.....

Thursday, November 21, 2013

elf on the shelf

Last week my neighbor Jeni posted this Elf on the Shelf calendar to help to remind herself to move her Elf around.

I immediately went into spasms.  Of terror.  Of guilt.  All those feelings that parents get when they realize that they forgot to do something.

The calendar of guilt......
This is my response:

  • Kim Turner So glad that we didn't do this. I can see it now - about 12/14 the kids would get an official letter stating that their elf had fallen off the Wagon (again) and would be spending the rest of the holidays at Betty Ford....

Except that I don't think that we would've lasted until Dec 14th.  Certainly our Elf would've had a tragic beagle or cat or even ferret related accident well before he had a chance to break into the good Scotch.

As a parent consistency was not my strong point.  I mean the kids were clean and fed and clothed and schooled and put to bed at regular intervals, but perhaps the bed and fed and schooled times varied.

And at Christmas, Larry would always put up the tree - if he was there.  And he would always take down the tree - if he was there.  (One year during Desert Storm, the tree stayed up well into late January when I finally took it down and dumped all the ornaments into a big basket where they stayed in the corner until Larry got home sometime in March.)  Single parenting is a bitch....

We do have a couple of traditions that we try to hold onto year after year:

1)  We have a nice catered Italian meal every Christmas Eve.  I.E. we order out pizza.  It started when Larry seemed to be gone a lot around Christmas time and it helped set the tone for the evening. We eat pizza while we watch Gremlins. (The girls have added the alcohol in the last few years.)

2)  I make a massive breakfast after we open presents - and the last 20 years or so I've been making "Breakfast Bowls"  a dish that I've unashamedly stolen from Bob Evans.  It is also called "heart attack in a bowl" by my children, but I don't recall anyone turning away from them.

And maybe the one thing that we all remember -

3)  Our own personal Elf.  My mom brought it back from Germany in the late 50's.  And every year it gets just a bit more raggedy.  We finally resorted to placing on a limb of the tree near the trunk because it is too fragile to hang.  And placing it was always Joshua's job.  He did it at the very end, just before Mary put the angel on the top of the tree.
(We lost it for a couple of years.  While it was gone, my friend Lyndy picked up a bunch of elves at yard sales for us and it helped a lot, but when we found that stray box in the attic with our elf in it, we all breathed a sigh of relief.)

My elf is on the right.  He appears to be cozy-ing up to a newbie on his left......

Maybe my kids will do Elf on the Shelf when they have kids.

I hope that they do that and eat pizza and have big breakfasts and pick a special child to put their elf on the tree.

Maybe I'll even let them borrow mom's elf.....

As long as I get it back.

Monday, November 4, 2013

It's the Little Things

We had had a super busy couple of days - 

Thursday was Halloween and Friday was Shayne's surgery and then we had the kids afterwards and we were up early on Saturday so that we could get the kids home and get to Silver Spring to see Jesus Christ Superstar.

By the time we got home Saturday night we were dead tired.

We stayed up for a couple of hours with Lucy and Ellie then staggered upstairs.

I was eating some yogurt and asked Larry if he wanted to finish it.  "Sure", he said, "what kind?"

Without hesitation I replied "Potato."

He didn't even flinch as I handed him the pumpkin yogurt.

Which begs the question -

Exactly who was the most tired???

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

A Very Scary Five Minutes

Monday I was out running errands.
I was listening to WTOP (as per usual) when they broke with the story about the school shooting in Nevada.
As you know, I have a niece and nephew who are students in Nevada.
WTOP did not mention the location of the shooting, so I was a little concerned as I went into the last store on my list.  It was just a run in and run out kind of a trip so i just grabbed my credit card and left every thing else in the car.
When I got back to the car about ten minutes later, there was a missed call on my cell phone.
It had a Nevada area code, but it was an unfamiliar number.
My heart skipped several beats.
I called the number back but all I got was an generic voice mail recording.
I called my sister-in-law, but got HER voice mail.
I called my brother, but got a text saying that he was busy and would call me back.
I was having a little trouble breathing.
Then WTOP broke back in and said that the school was near Reno.  As relieved as I was about it not being "my" students, I felt so sad for the school near Reno.
I got back home and turned on TV and sure enough, Grey's Anatomy was doing a show about a school shooting.  Oh no.
My brother called me back - his was the unknown number - his new work cell phone. He couldn't believe the timing of it all - he wasn't even in Nevada and wasn't aware of the shooting when he just randomly called me.
I am so heartsick about the upswing in school shootings.
It used to be that school was the safe place for your children to be.
But now it seems like there aren't any "safe" places anymore.
So hug your family close and pray for Sparks, Nevada and all the school systems and students and teachers.
And pray for a solution to all this madness.
There has to be one out there....

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Good Morning World!!!

Neve woke up this morning and within five minutes was downstairs bright-eyed and chirping about cats.
Grey, however, surveyed the situation, grabbed a pop-tart and asked if he could take it back upstairs.

I, on the other hand, had staggered down the stairs two hours earlier at 6:15 AM to let the girls out and I hadn't progressed much past standing.

So I offered up donuts and bacon - it IS Saturday morning after all - and chocolate milk in fancy goblets.

 Now the house smells agreeably like bacon and coffee... 

 And I savored my first cup.

Turns out that there is a Very Important Mickey Mouse Clubhouse to watch so I need to join the chocolate milk swilling donut eating baconators.

 It is a cool crisp autumn Saturday morning....

We don't have to hurry anywhere and they are both happy to be here.

These Saturday mornings don't come by that often...

And these babies are little for so short a time...

Maybe I'll have another cup of coffee.  Sofia the First is on next....

Thursday, October 17, 2013

I Want an Owl

I've decided that I want an Owl. 

I need an Owl.

I mentioned it to Audrey.  She said "And would you like to be whisked away to Hogwarts too?"

I mentioned it to my other children. Let's just say that I am sure if they keep making those faces that they are going to freeze like that.  And then where would they be?

I mentioned it to Lucy and Ellie.  They figured that if cat food is tasty - owl food could be even better!

I would've mentioned it to Larry but he is out of town at the moment.  But it's ok.  I'm sure he wouldn't mind.

Then I mentioned it to the cats.  They said "Owls??  Owls??  Baked or fried??"


I guess that some dreams are better left unrequited....


Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Electronic Family

Audrey and I have a love/hate relationship with the movie "Stepmom".  We sit and get mad at the daughter actor - I mean who talks like that without getting smacked?  And we cry and cry. And we generally make the same remarks.

This morning I was flipping thru the channels and saw that Stepmom was playing and since it was about half way thru so I turned it on.  I figured it was safe.

I was by myself.

What a mistake.

I was sniffling as I texted Audrey - 

Me:  Stupid Stepmom movie.

Me:  We didn't sing and do choreographed dances enough as a family.  I hereby apologize.

Audrey:   I feel like you say that every time you watch Stepmom. ...we've forgiven a family.  It's ok.

Me:  I want Susan Sarandon's wardrobe.  It's classic.

Me:  And her house too.

Me:  Thank you.  And the two of them riding that ONE horse in the snow??  Did they not watch The Horse Whisperer?

Audrey:  Apparently not...

Then we had to stop texting because she was at work and I couldn't see to text anymore because I was frankly sobbing by then.  

Stupid movie.....

Friday, October 4, 2013

Best-laid Plans...

Yesterday I hit the road to pick Larry up from the Metro.

The sun was shining and I was feeling good.

I picked up Larry and even tho he had to work an hour later than usual, we figured that we were up for some shopping.  So we made a plan....

 "We'll just run over to Costco on the way home and get a few things.  We'll pick up water and bleach and milk etc.  Then maybe swing by the Checkers drive thru and get a chili dog!"

Traffic was heavy and about and hour and a half later (or approximately 16 miles) we began to scale back our plans.

"We'll just go to Wegman's and get a little bit of water and some milk and save Costco for Saturday.  Maybe run by McDonalds and try out the new Mighty Wings and get a hamburger...."

Then about 45 minutes later (9 miles) we got on the exit to 29 and sat stock still for 10 minutes before we started c-r-e-e-p-i-n-g towards the bridge.

And we scaled our plans back even further....

We'll just run by the McDonalds drive-thru and then stop at the B.P. and grab a couple of big Aquafina's and that will hold us until tomorrow!"

Like I said...

Best-laid plans of mice and men often go astray....

* Not Actually yesterday's traffic - but close to it...

Monday, September 23, 2013

Momma Had a Girl

My mom loved getting her hair done.  She loved trying out different styles and colors.  And since mom got her hair done at least once a week, it was always a surprise to see what she had gotten done. She always came home relaxed.  And energized. And better able to face life.

I knew that Audrey had inherited that particular gene the first time I took her to a salon when she was about 9.  She settled into that  shampoo chair with a look of pure bliss on her face.  I sadly realized that I would never be able to trim those bangs again.

Nowadays, we have our hairdressers, or stylists, or beauticians.  Back in the day, my mom had a "girl".

The one that I remember best was named Sally.  Sally was married to a guy in my dad's Air Force unit, so mom and Sally were together for years.  They were friends in and out of the salon.

Mom didn't take us along with her very often - that was her adult time.  But when I could, I always loved to go along with her to her appointments.  I'd try to make myself small and be really quiet so that I could listen to the ladies talking.  After a while they'd forget that I was there and then things got interesting!!  
(We didn't have the Lifetime channel back then, so  a girl had to get her life lesson info any way she could!!)

It was also to my advantage to be still and quiet and as invisible as I could.  Then maybe mom would forget that she brought me in to get my hair cut too.  As a young girl in the '60's with thick frizzy naturally curly hair the best way to control my hair was to "thin" it.  With a razor.  And it hurt like hell so I'd always end up crying.  Very embarrassing.  And painful.  It could be why I didn't really start going to salons until I was a lot older.  And when I find one that can cut curly hair I tend to stay with them.

Nowadays, my girl is a guy named Brandon.  A real rock star of a guy who went to school with Audrey.  She sent me to him this spring with her credit card and said "Enjoy!"  And boy, did I!!

So I was feeling a bit low and in need of a change in June and I made a spur of the moment decision to go and get my hair "did".  I managed to get an appointment and started the 186 mile round trip to get my hair done and to get a little salve for my soul.

It was just what I needed.

In fact, I liked it sooo much that I tagged along with Audrey at her next appointment and had it cut again.

And here is the proof that my new hair cut was successful - 

Last Saturday, I was sitting at the kitchen table, staring blankly at nothing, miserable with a sinus infection and some new meds, I was still in my jammies, hadn't showered, in fact I had slept on the couch the night before as part of a sleepover with my grandbabies; yep, real Miss America material.

Larry walked by, kissed the top of my head and said, "I know that you feel rotten sweetie, but your hair looks really nice."

Wow.  Sweet.

An unsolicited atta-boy from my husband of 33 years.

Thank you Brandon!  My hair looks great.  And my soul was calmed. And I am better able to face life.

No wonder my mom loved her girls so much!

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Conversations with the Grandkids

Neve found a key last week while she was rummaging around.  

A magical key???

"Mimi," she said, "What is this key for??"

Always with the questions....

"I don't know sweetie, maybe one of Poppop's old trucks or something.  What do you think?"

Neve is a great guesser

 "I think that it is for a castle.  I think that a princess dropped it and Poppop found it and she probably needs it back."

Princess Neve with a reluctant subject.....

I guess that Neve should know.  These princess types tend to think alike....

Saturday, September 7, 2013

The Egg McSandwich

We got to bring over Neve on Thursday afternoon, which unfortunately meant that we had to get her up at 6am on Friday morning so that we could take Larry to the metro.

On the way home I asked her if she wanted something from McDonalds. 

"Sure Mimi, I'll have an Egg McSandwich."

An Egg McSandwich???

What the heck is that?

And, of course, I had staggered out of the house that morning without my cell phone, so I couldn't call Shayne and ask for an explanation.

As many of you know, I used to be a McDonalds manager.  Back in the '70's, when there weren't that many female managers.  As a matter of fact, I have an Associates Degree in Hamburgerology, so I figured that I could handle this.

The manager in me said "Get her an Egg McMuffin."

The grandmother in me said "But what if that's not right?"

So, I asked her - 

"Do you want a McGriddle with sausage? or bacon?"

"Nope, An Egg McSandwich."

"Do you want a biscuit with sausage? or bacon?"

"No Mimi. An Egg McSandwich."

So I ordered an Egg McMuffin meal with chocolate milk and just to be on the safe side, an order of Hotcakes and Sausage.

We got home and sure enough, it was the Egg McMuffin she was talking about.  She ate two bites of it, ate her hashbrown, drank the chocolate milk and was finished.  

We put the rest of it on the kitchen table in case she got hungry later.

Lucy, as it turned out, got hungry first and as near as we could tell, bribed a cat to knock it to the floor for her.

Next time, we will just have cereal.  

I am not up to these epic decisions at 6:30 in the morning....

Apparently, Lucy will eat an Egg McAnything

Thursday, September 5, 2013

How to Nearly Have a Heart Attack on I-66

Larry is taking a weekly class at Andrews Air Force Base.  It makes for a REALLY long day for him, so I pick him up at the Pentagon and we go together.  He goes to class and I hang out at the commissary and then get a taco at the PX and read and breathe in the military life like it is a tonic.

Audrey, proud new renter of what we used to call Shayne and Jess's condo - which is now known as Audrey's condo*, decided to come along to play a game my daughters love called "Let's see if we can actually spend ALL of mom's checkbook at the commissary".

We did a pretty good job of it if I do say so myself and now I know that my baby won't starve....

AND we even got to play a bonus round - i.e. we had Larry's PX charge card and as the clerk was ringing us up I mentioned to Audrey that this was the reason that Larry was the only one who had a card for this account.... (Who knew that Audrey had a Martha Stewart addiction??)

So we crammed all of our purchases into Larry's little red Jetta, picked Larry up after his class was over and headed back to Manassas.

As we were nearing the rest stop I noticed in the rear view mirror that there was an idiot driving right on my bumper.

I even said "Look at that idiot right on my bumper!! I can't go any faster!  I am already going 70 miles an hour......"

That's when the blue lights started flashing.

That's pretty much when my heart palpitations started.

I pulled over on the shoulder and the cop whizzed on by.

Undoubtedly laughing his ass off.

By the way, did you know that that section of I-66 the speed limit is actually 55 miles per hour??

I am very aware of that now.....

I was hoping he'd have nice lady-like pink cuffs.....

*The formal name for the condo is "Shayne and Jess's old condo that Audrey is renting now and she can only have one cat and NO interior cat doors...."

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Notes From a Cat Lady

As  you all can't help but know - 5 cats have chosen to live with us.  That is until Sunday, when Audrey moved and took Bill J. Purray with her.  And she dropped Scottie Jane into the crate too... just in case Billy had a hard time adjusting to life on his own.  (i.e. being an "only" cat.) 

And as it turned out, he did have a little bit of problem, so Scottie is staying on for a couple of days.

Chillin - unaware of the big move...

Bill the vampire cat... Scottie never even woke up.
Now that leaves the three older cats home alone.  

Just how they like it.  

No young whippersnappers to chase them down or eat their food or make them stand in line at the litter box.

No more having to be a role model.

We got home from the game on Sunday night and I swear that they were into the good Scotch.

I decided that with there being fewer cats around, it would be a good time to give them a good brushing.  Raleigh was looking a little rough and Sminky a little dingy.  Paulie, of course, was fresh and ready for his close up and yet as soon as I picked up the brush, he was in my lap, saying me first! Me First!

So yesterday, my attempts at brushing were rebuffed roundly by Sminky and Raleigh.  I brushed Paulie really well just to show the other two that there was nothing to it, but all they did was laugh at Paulie and call him snide cat names.

Today I woke up with that rare feeling of wanting to accomplish SOMETHING!!! and right away I spotted the cat brush.

After I brushed Paulie (he has to have put a freakin' charm or something on that brush, I swear!) I grabbed Sminky.

Then I grabbed Sminky again.

Then awash with determination, I wiped off all the blood and grabbed Sminky again. 

She ungraciously allowed (?) me to brush her, growling all the time.  Paulie stood right by her head, consoling her and assuring her that he was next.

After I finished Sminky (and brushed Paulie again) I went to pick up Raleigh.

I chased him all over the house and for an old guy, he runs really fast.

I accepted defeat and went back to the couch to finish watching America's Next Top Model.

A few minutes later, Raleigh jumped on my lap. (He's not too bright, but he's really pretty!)  I brushed the heck out of that cat and soon realized that it was going to be a two day (at least) job. 

I ended up up with enough cat hair to build another Sminky and Raleigh and barely enough from Paulie to cover the brush. 

still not talking to me....

Kicking Paulie out of their Never-gonna-get-brushed-Again club 

Look how pretty!!!

And I had enough cat scratches to look like Frankenstein's monster.

But Billy and Scottie Jane - they aren't missing this at all....

This is a no brushing zone....

Saturday, August 31, 2013

There - I Said It!!!

On Thursday Larry and I took a little Living Social created trip to Staunton.  It was wonderful and I'll write more about THAT later.

As we were leaving after lunch to come back home, Larry noticed that we were driving by a couple of quilt shops - one which had a sign that just said "Antique Linens".

"Ummm," he said nervously, "Do you want to stop and look?"

"No," I said instantly.  

"I think that I have enough linens." 

Larry, in a state of shock, managed to drive for a few blocks before he felt it was safe to say "ok."

He was happier than when the Yankees lose.

Anyone who knows Larry knows exactly how true that is!!

Yep.  That's a happy man!!!!

(*However, if you are GIVING linens've got my number....)

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

My Trip to Las Vegas

Most people go to Las Vegas to to gamble or to see some shows.

I went to Las Vegas to visit Hogwarts.

Yes.  I am among a small percentage of people on this earth that have never read OR watched a Harry Potter movie.

So in July when my brother and sister-in-law needed to go out of town for a week and my niece Beth and nephew Travis asked if I could stay with them (I still feel honored by that request BTW) we decided one way to entertain me would be to rectify my non-Harry Potterness and watch all eight movies.

Which we did.

In four days.

I am surprised that we didn't have British accents by Tuesday.

Along the way we tweaked the series just a little...Watching those movies one right after the other made Hogwarts and it's residents feel like a real place with real people, so it's only natural that we would have little nicknames for our buddies...

Harry Potter being a teen aged wizard with a big bank account of course was renamed Harry (Big Poppa) Potter.

Hermione by the sixth movie became Hormones...

Lucius Malfoy due to his luxurious blond locks became Luscious.  (That was Beth's shining moment!) 

My own best effort was to proclaim that Hedwig would be called Owly and that he would be Harry Potter's best friend and he shall call him Owly.... 

I don't know why we christened Prof Snape Prof Snade.  Or why I was so drawn to him....

And, of course, Cedric Diggory was "Shovelface".  (Thank you, Honest Trailers!)

My nephew Travis - along with Tattoo, Belle and Jack in Harry Potter watching mode.

I had such a great time!  (And I hope they had a good time too!!)

And yes, we did do other things besides Harry Potter - 

We accidentally saw the Red Rock Canyon when we turned the wrong way for the comic book store.

We ate our weight at Sonic.

We broke in the GPS mode on my phone trying to find PF Changs.  (Travis is a WONDERFUL navigator.)

I nearly had my fill of Jack in the Box tacos...(They ordered milkshakes instead.)

We had a couple of evenings where we hooked my computer up to their big screen and watched YouTube.  Amazing stuff can be found on YouTube!!

We went (inadvertently) to the BIGGEST MALL I'VE EVER BEEN TO IN MY LIFE!!!  I needed a Pandora charm and I didn't want to go to the Vegas strip (we'd already DONE that - looking for PF Changs) So we looked up a Pandora store on Google and of course it took us to the huge Fashion Show mall on the Strip.  By sheer luck we parked in the appropriate parking garage, walked in and I was totally intimidated by the size of the place.  After 6 wrong turns we found the Pandora place, got my charm and  I announced that we would do lunch and that each kid could visit one store and then we would be outta there!!!

I also got the rare opportunity to see Travis and Beth in their natural setting without parents hanging around to make them feel shy or bashful.  I got to see what a talented guitar player Travis is, and what a whiz he is at anything to do with the internet.  I got to see that Beth is an artist and a writer and great photographer. I got to see that they are both bright, articulate and honestly fun to be around kids.

And I got to meet Big Poppa and his friends. 

I'm on the 4th book as we speak.
Thank you, Bryan and Sarah for sharing your children with me.

I had a blast!

Monday, August 19, 2013

Conversations With the Grandkids

Today Grey and Neve and I met Aunt Mary for lunch.

Sounds easy, right?

Let me just mention that earlier in the day at the back to school doctor appointment Grey got one shot, while Neve got FOUR shots.  And rumor has it that she was not at all cooperative. When they were finished with Neve's shots she told Shayne "Daddy, they HURTED me!".
So, they were a little keyed up with they climbed into the back seat.

And as Mary works near Baileys Crossroads, it's a little bit of a drive.

First I had to contend with these budding Weird Al Yankovics changing the words to a couple of songs from Les Miserables.  I won't bore you with these particular song lyrics -- just imagine the word poop, diaper, and cars rhyming horribly with other words....

We had a nice lunch at the Olive Garden with Aunt Mary, even tho their lunch seemed to consist entirely of croutons, garlic bread, chocolate milk and a random grape or two. (I guess they ate the basically untouched cheese pizza for supper tonite.)  
The waitress had a hard time with their names (on the take-out containers) so after we corrected her several times, we gave up and the kids just wrote in crayon over the names that she had assigned them.

On the way home with stopped by a goodwill store to see if I could find the Harry Potter books that I am missing.  We didn't find those, but Grey and Neve each found a book and soon we were back in the car and on our way home.

Neve's book was about ballet dancing and she showed one of the pictures to Grey.

Neve: See Grey, This is how you do it!

Grey:  Neve, I already showed you how to do a twirl!  You stick your arm up and you put your foot out and you spin!

Me: hey Grey!  maybe you would like to take ballet lessons?

Grey: NO.

Neve:  But Grey, you need to be my partner!

Grey: No!  Your teacher will divide you up and give you a partner.

Neve;  But my teacher will say, Neve, you need to have your brother for your partner!

Grey: No she won't.

Neve:  Yes she will!!

I could see that the shots and the day were catching up with Neve so I changed the subject.

But I couldn't help day-dreaming just a little about how adorable Neve and her partner Grey would be.

Even thought Shayne would kill me for even suggesting it......

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Trying to Find an Antique Store....

My friend Sue and I took off for Angola, New York last week.
Angola is near Buffalo and that is where Sue's mom lives.  Sue's sister-in-law found a cool dresser for her and we decided to do a little road trip and fetch it back to Manassas.

(I may have mentioned earlier that in August for the past few years Sue and I zip up to a giant antique flea market in upper New York.  For various reasons this year we couldn't go, so this was a good substitute.)

In the past whenever we would head up to Bouchville we would drive like crazy and try to get there as soon as we could, stopping only for gas, potty breaks, breakfast, lunch, a certain Fashion Bug store near Scranton, PA, and maybe dinner.

This time, we decided that we would take time, stop and smell the roses, and go to any antique store that caught our fancy.

In another post i will talk about what a great time we had with Sue's family and the sight-seeing we did and the great food we ate.  But for now, let's talk about the antique stores.

The first one was in Hanover, MD.  We had stopped to buy a pie at a great pie shop and while trying to find the interstate again, we passed by a sign that said Neptune's Attic.  YES! Our first random antique store!!  It had some crappy furniture out front, but the inside looked promising.  Inside it had a really bad mold and mice and some other undefinable smell.  And the prices were ridiculous, so we wandered back to the street and that's when we saw that the next store was Neptune's attic - an aquarium store.  The store we had been in was called "The Jesus Christ Our Lord Thrift Shop".  Well, it must have been the maids century off because we sneezed and coughed for quite a few miles afterwards, trying to clear our lungs.

The next store was a few days later on our way back home ...evidently all the cute little antique stores are on I-81, not the roads that we were traveling on.

So we were coming from a pottery - again looking for the interstate - and it was pouring down rain when we saw the  big white barn with the words "Antiques - Honk to see if we're here" painted on it.   Looked promising!  We honked and they were there so we ran in out of the rain. That old barn was dark and crowded and had lots of rooms - just the place for a rainy afternoon!
We'd made the circuit of one room when, of course, I had to go to the bathroom.  
It never fails!!
We asked the strange looking farmer-ly type owner and his equally strange looking helper if they had a restroom.
"Oh yeah", he said.  "Just follow me."
As we followed him, I have to admit that visions of Pulp Fiction flitted thru my mind and I prayed that he wouldn't lead us to the basement.
Oh no, he lead us outside and pointed to the next field over and said see that little white building?
Oh great.  A port-a-potty.  Across a field.  In the pouring rain.  But, we did have to pee.  So off we went, with the strange looking farmer-ly type owner and his equally strange looking helper laughing their asses off.

We got there and Sue graciously said "Go ahead.  I'll wait."

I cautiously opened the door and what I saw made my self-esteem immediately shriek "GO AHEAD - WET YOUR PANTS - THERE ARE DRY ONES IN THE CAR!!!" 

I shut the door and turned to Sue and said "Um, you can go if you want.  I'm not going in there."

As Sue very well knows it has got to be REALLY bad if I won't go in, so together we opened the door, looked inside and here is what we saw:

Shown actual size....
That spider was sitting in a web right by the toilet seat with about eighty just as large dead spiders laying all around it.  
And just to round things out, the port-a-potty was a "two-holer". and the other seat was closed with a huge rock holding the lid down. 

We did not want to know what the rock was holding in.

I won't say that we ran screaming across the field to the car, but I do think that we broke several previously held sprinting records.  

We both agreed that antiques are seriously overrated, and well, we have enough of 'em anyway.


We never had this much trouble spending money in Bouchville!!!!