Tuesday, August 28, 2012

What a Difference 32 years Makes!

All of this planning and arranging and discussions about Mary and Lance's upcoming wedding has me thinking about the little homemade wedding that Larry and I had over 32 years ago.

Budget:  We had none.  It did not occur to any of our collective parents to offer to help out.  My mom didn't even attend.

Wedding Dress:  I had my sister's prom dress.  It was tan with little bunches of navy flowers. 

(This is an important note - my sister wore it BEFORE she was an official lesbian.)

On a more romantic note - I showed the dress to Larry right after we started dating and he said that he would find an occasion for me to wear it.   Awwwww....

Bridesmaids Dress: Charlotte had a pale blue long dress that her mom gave her.

Just before my dad gave me away.

Wedding Suit: Larry - He had an navy suit - Score!
Best Man's Suit: Russell - He ALSO had a navy blue suit - Double Score!!
Ring Bearer's Suit : Shayne - He too had a navy suit, left over from his career as popular "ring-bear-i-er".   SWEET!!!

(And I would be remiss if I didn't mention that my dad chose a pale tan Western Leisure suit (with matching cowboy boots) as his Father of the Bride outfit.  And let's not forget the huge beard and wild-man hairdo he sported.  It made the lack of a "Father and Daughter Dance" MUCH easier to bear.)

Church:  I had overcharged a nice Episcopal priest one morning at McDonalds and we became friends.  He lent us his church, a beautiful old stone church.

Minister:  My friend couldn't perform the ceremony due to the fact that I , well, I had an impediment.  (English majors - any guesses as to what that means??  Think Jane Eyre...)  So he asked his friend the Bishop to marry us.

Yep, I made that cake!!
Rehearsal Dinner:  We took my dad and my brothers and a couple of Larry's brothers out to Duff's Smorgasbord about an hour before the wedding.  It was, after all, all you could eat shrimp night....

Invitations:  We called people.  Larry drove over to his parents house and let them know that they could come to the wedding.  Or not.  (We hadn't talked since Christmas.) 

Legalities:  It cost $7.50 for our license, and $12.50 for our blood tests.  Back then, you had to have a negative blood test report before you could apply for a license.  I think that it was to check for STD's, but it WAS Kentucky and it could've been to see if we were related.  All I know is that when that nurse came over with that big needle, I cheerfully, if not a little desperately, assured Larry that we could absolutely continue living in sin if it meant that I didn't have to deal with the business end of that needle.  The nurse called me a coward and jabbed away.

Flowers:  A Daisy on each guys lapel.  And for Larry's mom.  (We ran out of money after that - so no bouquet.)

Photographer:  Some teacher of Larry's that charged us $20.00 and gave us a small print of each picture and the negatives.

Wedding Cake:  I baked it.  And decorated it.  Larry wanted strawberry with cream cheese frosting.  It was pretty good!  We had Holly Hobbie figurines that Larrys' mom bought to top the cake.

Larry was an agriculture major...

I guess that this was supposed to be Shayne...

Reception:  Larry's mom wanted to make the best of our wedding, so she offered to host the reception at her house.  So we had punch, cake and butter mints.  There were no toasts, champagne or otherwise.  And no dancing.  You will recall that I was happy about that.

Check out Larry's Clark Kent/Superman glasses!!!

Honeymoon:  We didn't.  In fact, my dad and two brothers and their Brazilian exchange student were staying with us.  And Bo had borrowed a Simon game.  So all we heard all night on our wedding night was beepbeepbeep, beepbeepbleep DAMN.  Over and over again.  SO romantic!!

Scariest Moment:  When the Bishop asked if there was anyone who had any objections...We held our breath and hoped like hell that Larry's mom would not speak up.

Something must have clicked , tho'.

Here's hoping for 32 more years!!!!


  1. I'm glad Robyn didn't leave any of those nasty lesbian germs in the dress. It would have sucked to have caught the gay!

  2. That is an awesome story, Mrs. T. What a cool little ceremony. :)

  3. These are words from a real life worth living. It would make a great novel. I like that 'Impediment' part......Rich.