Wildlife in the Workplace

I was upstairs happily cleaning out my closet when Larry ran up and said "Wow there's a cool breeze coming in so I'm going to open all the windows and turn off the A.C."


What?


Men need at least ONE hot-flash in their lives.  Just one.  Then they would know that clicking off our beloved air conditioning and turning the house into a sauna is not something that makes us love them more.


Since I turned into a sweat-y mess within 10 minutes of the new regime - i.e.no A.C., I thought I would sit under the ceiling fan (that is set on Mach-9) and relay my terrifying trip to the bathroom today while I was at work.


My boss has a really gorgeous house that is set on 10 mostly wooded acres.  And since it IS so close to nature, nature feels free to come on in.
For example - one day we found a frog in a potted plant.  Inside the house.  I've heard that they've found a snake or two by the hot water heater...I always make sure to shut THAT door when I head to my office!


But the worst place for me for some reason is the office bathroom.  


I walked in one day and saw something on the toilet seat.  Thank God!  As I was wiping it off I saw the big black spider that was in the toilet bowl!!
Another day, I was the only one in the house and I kept hearing this scritching sound coming from the bathroom.  i immediately thought - serial killer - but screwed up all my courage and peeked in the bathroom. There was a MOUSE in the toilet!!!  I slammed the lid down and went screaming back to my office. The fourth time I called Larry he finally persuaded me to flush the toilet.  ARGH!!


So today I reached into the bathroom, turned on the light, stepped in, turned around and saw the BIGGEST SPIDER I"VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!!!!

SHOWN SMALLER THAN ACTUAL SIZE!!!!

I guess I don't need to add that I pretty much wet my pants.


I couldn't step on it - I was wearing Crocs and it is a known fact that you can't KILL a spider by stomping on them with Crocs - you just WOUND them and generally piss them off.  So I carefully slid out of the bathroom and went looking for an anvil or something of that nature.  What I found was two reams of paper which I slammed down on that sucker, then I stomped on THAT and decided to leave it there as a deterrent to other spiders.


Then I decided to work from home the rest of the day.


I still needed to go to the bathroom.