Friday, June 14, 2013

Our Daughters, Our Fashion Consultants

Mary and Audrey have always taken a keen interest in the various fashions that Larry and I have attired ourselves in throughout the years.

budding fashionistas even then...

Larry, being in the military, generally went by unscathed - even though there a couple of times that they felt that the Army could've used a good talking to.

But there was the time that they put their collective feet down and confronted Larry.  They planned it very carefully, first by asking to borrow my JC Penneys card.  "Why?" I innocently asked.  "You'll see", they grimly replied. 
They came in a couple of hours later with stuffed shopping bags and asked Larry and me to come into the room.

"Dad", they said, "You HAVE to stop wearing your shorts.  They are toooo short and we are sooo embarrassed and MOM we CAN'T believe you let him out of the house wearing those awful things!!"
"Whaaat?" I said.
"Well, what am I supposed to wear??" Larry said.
"These" they said as they dug through the bags til they found the one pair of shorts that they had purchased for him.  "These are appropriate."  And so Larry changed his style of summer wear.

OK, Maybe they were a little bit too short....

I haven't been that fortunate.  Especially as Mary and Audrey got older.

There is a certain rise of an eyebrow, a little shake to the head, a purse to the lips.  And if I still am not aware of how inappropriate I look they murmur "Did you get that from Patsy's closet?"

(Years ago I had a friend named Patsy who loved animal prints and lots and lots of gold and sparkly outfits.) 

So today it was just natural that I go downstairs and ask Audrey if it would look ok if I just ran down to the BP to buy a bottle of water in my dark jammie pants and tie-dyed t-shirt* and crocs.  "I'll even brush my hair", I added hopefully.

"Don't brush your hair, it'll look like you are trying too hard", she instructed.  "And hurry back, I'm running late for work!"

So away I went, comfortable in the fact that I had passed the out-in-public-appropriately-dressed-test. 

Not at all thinking about the fact that Audrey had to leave in ten minutes in MY car and that I could've gone to the BP naked  as long as my car was back in ten.

* and by tie-dyed, I of course mean an expensive dark long sleeved t-shirt that I planned to build  my winter wardrobe around that accidentally got tossed into the bleach load.


  1. children can be such nags......threaten them with the doesn't work for me as their little suitcases are already packed, by them......ungrateful wretches.

    1. My mom used to threaten to send us back to the orphanage...which is what I used to threaten my kids with...until I said it to 3 year old josh in front of a tree hugger friend. She was so offended that I never said it again. And PS MY kids had social services on speed know...just in case...