Friday, August 17, 2012

Conversations with the Grandkids

This morning I ran over to pick up Grey and Neve and Meg and Moo.  

On the way home I took the opportunity to talk with the kids about Mary's upcoming wedding.  I always start off with, OK, who are you guys going to walk towards? when Grey interrupted - 

It turns out that Grey has a few ideas of his own concerning this wedding....
                                        
On being The Ring Bearer:

 I think that instead of carrying the rings on a stupid pillow I should let my hero factory carry it.  I can slide the rings right on his arm, see?


See, you can slide the rings right past his guns...

On his Tuxedo:

I think that I am just going to wear my Wall-E vest. 

What does that look like?  I asked.

It has a picture of Wall.E on the front and the word Wall.E on the back.


My Wall.E vest is super cool.
On his Bow-tie:

I think I'll just wear my skull tie.  It is black and white - two of my favorite colors.  And it has skulls!

On His Shoes:

Ummm...I'm not sure yet.

So I had to ask - "What kind of pants are you planning to wear?"

Oh, Mimi, you'll just have to wait and see at the wedding....

Thursday, August 16, 2012

What NOT to Text to a Bride-to-Be....

We're keeping Mary's wedding dress at our house so that Lance can't see it.  On the day we brought the gown to Mary at the bridal salon for her fitting, I sent her the following text and picture:

Me:  Mental note ~ never leave Sminky alone with your wedding dress...

Sminky feeling like a princess...

Mary:  That doesn't look like my dress!!

Me:  Well, not anymore....

always a brides cat, never a bride...

Mary:  WHAT PART OF THE DRESS IS IT????

Me:  LOL!!

Mary: Thanks for trying to freak me out!!!!

Me:  Trying???


(For the record, Sminky was playing in some old curtains...)

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Getting Older Every Day

I got up early this morning and decided to take a few quiet minutes and look at the new crop of catalogs. 

The first one, one of Audrey's', had a pair of short cowboy boots to DIE for!  (If I survive this wedding, I am SO totally buying them.  In RED....)  And there were some cute tunics and sweaters. 

The next one of Audrey's catalogs featured tiny little clothes with lots of cut-outs.  Hmmm...not interested.


Then I got to the catalog with MY name on it.  It was called 'Easy Comforts' and the cover featured diabetic socks.  I'll be honest, I LIKE socks that don't leave rings around my ankles so I looked further.  There were salves and ointments and colorful canes.  Also featured were pill crushers and granny shoes and walkers and large bibs.  I thought to myself, Gosh I wonder when the kids will start buying this stuff for Larry and me.


Then I turned the page, and right there under the bladder control panties I saw it.


Something that I had only heard about in Sex and the City.


Something that made me blush.


Yep, it was the "rabbit".  (A personal (ahem) body massager.)

Ummm,,,Go Granny???



Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Sassy Pants



I had a pair of sassy pants once.

It was 1973 and it was the summer I turned 16.  That summer was a glorious time.  Those pants were a birthday gift from an older friend and unlike anything I ever had in my rather limited closet. 

The sassy pants were high waisted, big belled and cuffed, of course.  They were made with a hot pink plaid cotton fabric which I wore with a little white lace body suit and a thin pink patent leather belt to cinch my waist even more.  I had a tiny waist and a great (or so I was told) rear end and I weighed less than I ever had as a teenager.  (And adult too as far as that goes...)


They were a pair of hot pink plaid awesomeness!!!

I felt like I could rule the world in those pants.

I've tried to think if I ever felt that powerful in anything else that I've worn.

Not so far.

Maybe you only get one pair of truly sassy pants in your life.

What do (did) yours look like?

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Wildlife in the Workplace

I was upstairs happily cleaning out my closet when Larry ran up and said "Wow there's a cool breeze coming in so I'm going to open all the windows and turn off the A.C."


What?


Men need at least ONE hot-flash in their lives.  Just one.  Then they would know that clicking off our beloved air conditioning and turning the house into a sauna is not something that makes us love them more.


Since I turned into a sweat-y mess within 10 minutes of the new regime - i.e.no A.C., I thought I would sit under the ceiling fan (that is set on Mach-9) and relay my terrifying trip to the bathroom today while I was at work.


My boss has a really gorgeous house that is set on 10 mostly wooded acres.  And since it IS so close to nature, nature feels free to come on in.
For example - one day we found a frog in a potted plant.  Inside the house.  I've heard that they've found a snake or two by the hot water heater...I always make sure to shut THAT door when I head to my office!


But the worst place for me for some reason is the office bathroom.  


I walked in one day and saw something on the toilet seat.  Thank God!  As I was wiping it off I saw the big black spider that was in the toilet bowl!!
Another day, I was the only one in the house and I kept hearing this scritching sound coming from the bathroom.  i immediately thought - serial killer - but screwed up all my courage and peeked in the bathroom. There was a MOUSE in the toilet!!!  I slammed the lid down and went screaming back to my office. The fourth time I called Larry he finally persuaded me to flush the toilet.  ARGH!!


So today I reached into the bathroom, turned on the light, stepped in, turned around and saw the BIGGEST SPIDER I"VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!!!!


SHOWN SMALLER THAN ACTUAL SIZE!!!!


I guess I don't need to add that I pretty much wet my pants.


I couldn't step on it - I was wearing Crocs and it is a known fact that you can't KILL a spider by stomping on them with Crocs - you just WOUND them and generally piss them off.  So I carefully slid out of the bathroom and went looking for an anvil or something of that nature.  What I found was two reams of paper which I slammed down on that sucker, then I stomped on THAT and decided to leave it there as a deterrent to other spiders.


Then I decided to work from home the rest of the day.


I still needed to go to the bathroom.





Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Conversations with Grey

For Greys' sixth birthday, I assured him that I was getting him underwear.  Strawberry Shortcake underwear, as a matter of fact, which always left Neve reeling in laughter.  Jess pulled me aside at his birthday party and told me that Grey asked her to please go upstairs and count his underwear, so that she could tell me that he didn't need any!

Larry was sitting by Grey and Judy, (Jess's mom) when the following exchange took place:

Judy: "Grey, you have too many toys!"
Grey, chewing on pizza, kept his own counsel and chose not to respond.
Judy: "Grey, you know what you need?"
Grey looked at her interestedly, but kept on eating his pizza.
Judy: "Grey what you need is a college education!"
Grey swallowed, looked at her and said, "What for?"

When you are six,  a Lego set trumps higher education every time!!!



Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Reading Old Recipes with Aunt Bert

Yesterday was an awful day.

It started out with Ellie barfing on my bed, then a headache descended and rolling in right behind it was a bleak bad mood.  Thank goodness my boss let me work from home.  By the time evening wandered around I wasn't fit for man nor basset hound.  Audrey had the rare presence of mind to go out for a long time and Larry came home from work, surveyed the situation and then left for class with a spring in his step not unlike that of a convict being released on a technicality.

Granny's recipe box
Years ago my dad gave me a tin full of recipes that my Granny had collected.  When I was dusting last week I came upon it and had moved it to the coffee table, so I figured it was a sign to finally go thru it.
I settled down on the couch and started to pull the yellowed newspaper pages and recipes cut from the back of boxes and the little recipe books that you get with purchase and I started to calm down.

I love cookbooks.  I read them like novels from cover to cover.  And I am a sucker for cookbooks and cook booklets at thrift shops and yardsales and antique shops.  I think it is so cool to read what people write in the margins and what they tuck in between the pages.

Larry and I took a trip to Maine a few years ago and stayed a couple of days with some friends and their family at their rental cabin by a lake.  I brought along a shoebox stuffed full of all of my mother-in-laws' loose recipes that we could find.  I thought that I could sit on the screened porch and listen to the loons and stare at the lake and sort out the recipes.  My opportunity came on Game Night.  I am not a big board game player and I wasn't at all going to go up against that competitive crowd!  So I sat on the screened porch beside Aunt Bert.  Aunt Bert was an older lady, partially blind, kind of quiet, but sharp as a tack!  You could almost forget she was there...  She asked me what I was doing, then asked me what kind of recipes I had.  So I started reading the recipes out loud.  I found recipes from both of Larrys grandmothers, his aunts, his great aunts, our sister-in-laws, and their moms, a few from me, and even a couple from MY mom!!  But the fun really started when we got near the bottom of the box and found Grandma Inman's recipes!  Grandma Inman was Margarets' mother and she was a teacher and you know that teachers have GREAT recipes!  These were from the 40's and the 50's and we giggled together about how much butter they used.  And how many raw eggs were included.  And Aunt Bert told me about how SHE would've prepared a certain something and I told her how I would've prepared something and we ended up giggling and laughing together and I am convinced that we had a far superior time than the board game players had.
I didn't get the recipes sorted but I didn't even care.  I had a blast.

So as I sat on the couch looking at all the recipes my Granny had squirreled away I thought about the recipes that I had in MY recipe box and wondered what is it in the nature of women that makes them put aside interesting recipes that we know we'll never prepare?   And how now, in these more modern times as we store our recipes online or on Pinterest, will granddaughters get to go thru old recipe boxes and marvel at the ingredients, remember family members that are long gone and, if they are lucky, look on the back of that faded newspaper and laugh out loud over grocery prices?

And mostly, I wondered - why in the heck did Granny have like 80 recipes for apple cake????